Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A different kind of trade

Good afternoon, lesbos. I told you in my last entry concerning the trade deadline that I have more somewhat realistic trades waiting in the wings. I wasn't yanking your dicks! Although I do not want to get into the logistics of yanking the dicks of alleged lesbians, I do want to get into the logistics of this trade I've been cooking up for the past couple of days. It is another three-teamer, one that would be complex and convoluted; in today's NBA, that is slang for "impossible," because General Managers are not only stupid, they are pussies. Big fat pussies.

So let's pretend for a moment that every GM in the league wasn't a vagina and toss a ridiculous trade out into the open. Now, this particular trade has two iterations, one of which is more likely than the other. But, as soon as I realized it was impossible for either of them to happen because of the "GM pussy" clause in the Collective Bargaining Agreement, I decided to get a little wishful with the second one. Both of these trades would benefit the Knicks, you just may not think so because you are biased and sentimental. I, too, am both of those things, but when I try to think of trades, I don't think "WELL, LABRON WOULDNT WANT THAT GUY ON HIS TEEM BECAUSE HED BE THE SAME HEIGHT AND WEIGHT SO HE WOULDNT WANT TO GET JEALOUS OMG!!!111" or anything insane like that. I think "The Knicks might get LeBron James this summer; that's a true possibility. But a more likely possibility is that they don't get him. We need to realize that this would not be the end of the world, and that it would be okay, even prudent, to plan for such an event. Without further adieu, shut the hell up about LeBron James and peep this trade.

Trade 2:
Knicks get:
Josh Howard (1 year, 10.8 M), Anthony Morrow (1 year, 736 K), Brandon Wright (2 years, 2.6 M) and a trade exception worth 457 K

Mavericks get:
Corey Maggette (4 years, 8.9 M), Marcus Landry (1 year, 457 K)

Warriors get:
Jared Jeffries (2 years, 6.4 M), Nate Robinson (1 year, 4 M), Wilson Chandler (2 years, 1.2 M), Toney Douglas (2 years, 996 K) and a trade exception worth 736 K

Why it makes sense:
As I explained before, the Knicks are looking to get rid of Jared Jeffries and sign some free agents this offseason, whether it be LeBron James, David Lee, Chris Bosh, whoever. To do that, they would really like to get rid of Jared Jeffries's awful contract for more cap relief. This trade oversees them sending JJ to the Warriors for a nice little package of Mike D'Antoni delights!
We would receive Josh Howard (Ey Yo! I'm sippin' on Tanqueray, wit my mind on my money and my mouth on the ganjay!), who the Mavericks have shown interest in abandoning. Although he's on the last year of his contract (hence the entire reason why the Knicks would take him), the Mavericks (specifically Mark Cuban) has always been one to move expiring pieces at the deadline for assets in the playoffs. So, the Knicks would take Howard, Renaldo Balkman would hook him up with piff, and everybody wins.
Additionally, the Knicks get Anthony Morrow and Brandon Wright. Anthony Morrow is one of the best shooters in the NBA, plain and simple, and he's only 24. Both of those things are delightful.
Brandon Wright, 22 years old(!), was drafted a couple years ago out of UNC, and has never played significant minutes in the NBA. In the limited minutes he's played, he has been a fantastic young power forward. He blocks the fuck out of the ball, runs the court fantastically, finishes around the basket like a pro, and has the potential to be a defensive juggernaut. So, why would the Warriors get rid of him?
Well, like I said, the Dubs have been extremely reluctant to give him burn because Nelly hates playing young guys who haven't proven shit, even though in order to prove shit, you need burn.
Doesn't make sense, but we could exploit that.
Additionally, they may get rid of Wright because they have an identical player with seemingly more potential in Anthony Randolph.

Mavericks would cop Corey Maggette, who has been playing out of his goddamn mind this year (go on look up his stats). This would give them a threat to pop for 30 (giving them 3, along with Dirk, who goes off nightly, and Terry, who has lost a step). Maggette gets to the line like it's his job (LOL!), and shoots well over 50% from the field. He would make them instant contenders in the West, something Josh Howard (who is only averaging 26 minutes per game this year) cannot claim. They'd also get Marcus Landry, who is thrown in for money purposes.

The Warriors get Jared Jeffries, whose contract doesn't matter much because they're looking to drop money via getting rid of Maggette, which this trade fulfills. They can hold onto his contract for the extra year, then let him fall off their list.
What they actually DO get, however, is Nate Robinson (for the rest of the year), Wilson Chandler (for two more years), and Toney Douglas (also 2 years). Chandler, over the past few months (particularly weeks) has increased the FUCK out of his trade value, and he is still very, very young. The Knicks can afford to lose him (though it would no doubt sting) because they have Gallinari. They could get rid of Douglas, in this case, because it would mean getting Morrow, who is a "shooting" guard, through and through. Nate Robinson would thrive in their system, but he's not likely to stick around. Whatever. Let's review what's important.

The main parts of this trade are:
The Mavericks get a solid cog for the playoffs AND get rid of Josh Howard.
The Knicks get rid of Jared Jeffries AND cop Brandon Wright and Anthony Morrow.
The Warriors get Wilson Chandler, who Nelly would actually play because he has chops, and Nate Robinson and Toney Douglas, a defensive guard they could pair with Monta Ellis.
The Warriors wouldn't cry because they'd effectively replace Wright with Chandler. They don't play Wright anyway, and want something young and useful back for him (pause). They also replace Morrow with Douglas, which is essentially replacing a shooter with a defensive driver. They just drafted Steph Curry, soooooo...


Who says no?

The second variation is essentially a the same trade, only with far more wishful thinking on the parts of Knicks fans:


Who says no?

Later, lesbians.

Song of the day: "Black History Month" - Marc M.

6 comments:

Chris said...

the only problem with this trade is you are a hommer and the dubs would have to give up A. one of there best players. B. one of there favorite players. C. one of there former first round picks. and in return they get only the satisfaction of seeing the Mavs, who play in the same division, get better and so do the Nicks. not going down son.

DUBS 4 LIFE!!!!!

t_scharf said...

The reason the dubs haven't played Brandon Wright is that he's been injured for all of this season and most of last. He's a keeper.

Big Giant Orange said...

Chris, the Warriors do not play in the same division as the Mavericks.

t_scharf, out of curiosity, why do they hardly play Anthony Randolph?

CrazyD said...

This is obviously a joke. I couldn't have come up with a worse trade from the Warriors' perspective if I tried. Maggette is slightly overpaid at $10M/year, but how much should you pay a guy who averages 20 points and 6 rebounds per game in less than 30 minutes? Wright is talented but admittedly injury-prone, but certainly not just a throw-in on a deal. Morrow is the reigning league leader in 3-point percentage and did it as a rookie. Read that sentence again. His game is improving.

For the pleasure of getting rid of those guys, we get a player who is complete trash on a horrid contract (Jeffries), 2 more guards that we don't need (remember that we have Curry next to Monta), and a "nice" player in Wilson Chandler, who could become an average NBA SF in time.

Sorry. Clearly the crime in New York doesn't end on the streets, it includes in the blogs, because this would be robbery.

And to the question about why Randolph doesn't play much - right now he is out with an injury - rolled his ankle and tore one of the ligaments. Hopefully he'll be back by the end of the year. But while healthy, his minutes were limited because he is young and makes a lot of mental mistakes as an excitable young player, and because our coach is Nellie. Remember how much he loves young guys - he just doesn't play them much if he can avoid it.

Big Giant Orange said...

Ahhh please, Crazy. It may be a hopeful trade, but it's certainly not a joke. To say that Toney D is a guard you "Don't need" and to suggest Morrow is untradeable are the jokes. Sure, you don't need Nate, but he'd drop from the cap anyway. And Chandler could eventually develop into an average small forward? Give me a break. He'd immediately be the second best defender on your team (arguably the best), and he could play small-ball 4 with Beans. You're overvaluing your team too much, not realizing that they are terrible and need to make changes. Maggette is playing great, but he's playing the best ball of his career and should be moved for younger, more affordable pieces. To say that your sinking team should hang on to a 30 year old with a 4 year deal is ludicrous. Ship him off for young talent, which is what Chandler and Douglas are. Get real, broseph.

CrazyD said...

Big Giant, are you the original author of this? "Hopeful" is a laughable term for it.

I never said Morrow was untradeable, did I? Do you see Toney Douglas displacing either Curry or Ellis in our backcourt? I certainly don't. And I'll grant you that Chandler is pretty good, but we truly don't need any of the other pieces at all (none of them would be starters), and we'd be giving up a 20 ppg guy (check out his career stats - this year is not particularly out of line of him), a former #8 pick, and the league's reigning 3-point field goal leader. Way too much to give up to get back what would amount to a decent SF, a back-up point guard, some salary relief when Robinson leaves, and a horrid player/contract (albeit for only another year) in Jeffries.

Also, it's not a given that Chandler would start at the SF next year. Bear in mind that we lost our starting SF, Azubuike, to injury early this year. For all the talk about teams like Portland and New Jersey being hammered with injuries this year, they pale to how much the Warriors have been injured, leading to a record that doesn't reflect the talent or potential of the team. What other team has had 4 (count them, 4) D-Leaguers have to come up and play significant minutes, just to field a team? Wright, Azubuike, Biedrins, Turiaf, Bell, Randolph, Morrow have all missed chunks of time, 3 of those guys (Wright, Azubuike, Bell) are out for the year, Randolph might barely come back, Biedrins and Turiaf each missed 25-30 games and have been largely ineffective while still getting healthy. When you have literally zero healthy centers and power forwards on your team that are actually NBA caliber, and have to field D-Leaguers, it's not a level playing field.

I suggest you go onto something like the ESPN message board and suggest this, then see what the response will be from other Warriors' fans. I don't believe I'm alone in this comment......